Need marital advice please?

I think my husband is controlling in a way. If I invite him out to do something with me and friends he will say No that he doesn't want to go but when I get back he will be pouty and not speak with me and be upset. I will ask what's wrong and he will ignore me or turn over. This is a constant. I have told him to stop doing this but it continues. I am not without my flaws either and I own them if he tells me I did something that was outrageous or crazy and try to correct that. The issue is that I feel he doesn't do the same thing. If I call him out on something there is an excuse or he will get upset with me and yell and walk away. If he does something I feel is mean I tell him and he says I make him do those things or he does it because of x, y, z... never "I am sorry I will try to work on that." We are in marriage counselling and he does try to understand my feelings through 'empathic listening' exercises. I don't feel as if it sticks, though. Since the following day he won't call me or seemingly 'freeze' me out and then be warm with me out of the blue. I have lost my desire for with him due to this. If I say no to he gets mad, pouts and turns the other way. We do have nice times when we are cuddling, watching tv or out to dinner though the moment ther eis a disagreement of any kind it all comes crashing down. If I say no to him about anything I feel like he's talking down to me or very angry so it makes me feel thre is no point. I don't feel respected or as an equal in my marriage and have said that to me. Once again, I am not perfect and I am really trying but sometimes I feel I'm the only one trying to hold us together and I am growing resentful. So my question is what can I do to make this better? Am at my wit's end and in a deep depression. Am I the problem? What can I do to change this? I feel like a failure at marriage. We don't have children & married for 3.5 years, together 7.